OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
