I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
