A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
