tell your sister to shave her snatch
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
