First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
