How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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