May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
