i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize