Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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