Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize