I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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