I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
