I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
