He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize