Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
