Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I checked into jail on foursquare
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
