also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I am available for nakedness
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
