I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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