I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
