Define "chronic" masturbator.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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