Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
