What a fucking waste of an outfit
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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