Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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