shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
