You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
