i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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