I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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