is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we're making bets on your personal life
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
