And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
