did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
