I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize