When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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