he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
