im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
