how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
