party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We are two peas in an std pod
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
