so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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