i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
