you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize