just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Congratulations! We have a period
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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