Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize