I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
