no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
