would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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