did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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