Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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