Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
