So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
