i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
