Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
