Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
