Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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