peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
