Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
