i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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