just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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