Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
