I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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