the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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