she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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