I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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