I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
