She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
