its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
