Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
